L-I-F-E vs. L-O-V-E

But first...

Ant's world highlight
Today when I was running, someone screamed at me from a car window. Only they didn't scream the usual "Fag!" or "Put a shirt on!" No. This time it was different. This person yelled out, "At least you don't look gay!" That's right. DON'T look gay. Immediately I thought to myself: "You must look like a bad ass! There must be some other runner up there who looks like a complete gay boy. Then they see me, and realize that its possible for a runner to actually look legit. It's probably my new necklace..."

Then I realized he was probably just being sarcastic and probably thought I was gay. At least he got semi-creative with it...

So now on to today's post:
I used to consider myself a "Love Doctor." I prided myself on being able to offer the best advice to my friends when they were in a tough spot in their relationships. I almost never steered them wrong. It's been a while, but I've recently found myself playing the Love Doctor role again with some of my close friends; and to a degree, I think I've still got it. But today, I realized, I don't.

Over the past couple of years, I've developed what I believe to be a solid philosophy on living. How to be successful. How to be happy. How to avoid feeling like you want to kill yourself trying to be successful and happy. I'm pretty content with what I've come up with, and I've obviously shared many of my beliefs on this very publication (publication? - this thing is not published...). So although I have a VERY long time to live and learn and grow in this life, I feel like I have a good handle on it at the present moment. Nothing too mysterious about it.

LOVE on the other hand -- I am completely clueless. And I've decided that everyone is. Often times, love is a game. And it is a game that has no rules. And the rules it does have never make sense and are constantly changing. But its a game that most people want to play. Some people are playing currently. Some people are waiting to get their opportunity to step in from the side lines. Some people are winning -- some people are losing. But for the majority of us, people just want to play.

Still, no matter how long you play the game, it might never make sense. There will always be something that happens that just makes you scratch your head and think, "What in the hell was that?" I believe that I have been in love before. I've played the game. I am not currently playing, but I am not a rookie. As a veteran, I can use my experience to help others who are puzzled at the moment, others who don't understand and are completely lost with what's going on in the game. But I don't currently and never will really understand, either. No one will. Life? I get it. Love? Not a chance in hell.

I just thought about that today and wanted to write about it. So there you have it.

Dream Big

"Don't just dream. Dig for it. Put your desires into motion, not just thought. Act. Be bold and courageous. Will it be easy? Not likely. Will it be worth the work, the risk, the frustration? Absolutely. Persist, perservere. Life gives you the opportunity now, so don't let one more moment escape your capacity to have, be, or get what you want." -- Byron Pulsifer

I want to become a Physical Therapist in the NFL. I would love to end up working for the Redskins, but will not be crushed if I end up with some other team (other than the NFC East), since the Redskins are a pretty dysfunctional organization. I have just recently started telling people that I've decided I ultimately want to end up working in the NFL after I graduate from PT school. And until today, I have always felt a little bit foolish hearing those words come out of my mouth, simply because getting the opportunity to work in the NFL is no easy task. I felt like most people would hear that and silently scoff to themselves, thinking that I have no chance in hell. Well they can screw off, because I do.

For the past year, I have been working as and equipment intern for the Skinnys. This season I will be working at all of the home games. As I've stated on here before, I basically have the best job ever: I work around the players all of the time -- constant interaction. It's unreal. But asside from that, it has also given me the opportunity to make many contacts that most fans off of the street could never get: namely, the team physical therapists. To end up working in a place like the NFL, you need connections. And don't worry baby, I've got 'em.

So the point of that little self-gratifying rant is this. You (and I) cannot be afraid to dream big. If you have something that you want to do with your life, then do it. Go for it, no matter what. It may be rediculous to other people, but who cares about them? If you want to do something, do it for yourself.

Again, I turn to my friends for inspiration. My trusty friend Kyle is the first to jump to mind. He has been my faithful training partner for the past 4 years. Unfortunately, graduation has sent us in different directions: Myself to PT school and him back home to work in the running store. Running store you say? Why would a bright young fellow with a degree in Integrated Science and Technology, focus on renewable energy, be working in a running store post-graduation? The answer is simple: He is chasing the dream.

Kyle is a little bit like me in that respect. His dream: The Olympic Trials marathon. Lofty goal? Absolutely. Takes some balls to go for it? Absolutely. And he is. A 2:19 marathon is not easy for anyone (except Ryan Hall). It will take years (literally) for him to drop his time down to that level. Luckily he has a few to work with. So he has a dream, and is going for it.

Another friend of mine, Danny (who is catching all of the attention on my blog as of late), chased his dream all the way to Boston. Danny turned down a job offer from ESPN to pursue his dreams in the music world. He gave it an honest, 100% shot so that he would not have any regrets, and I totally respect him for that. Now, he has moved past his persuit of music and is still happily living in Boston, and working a job he truely enjoys. And he will always know that he gave his music career an honest shot.

Dream big my friends. You have nothing to lose by taking a chance and doing something radical in persuit of a dream. Life is short, but life is also long. Taking a year and doing something that might be thought of as crazy by the rest of society will not make or break your life. If things don't work out, that year will be a blip in the radar in terms of your total life. So theres only one thing you can do: Go big, or go home.

Song Highlight
Let It Happen - Jimmy Eat World

"Talk, talking a lot, but its still talk.
Gotta love how its somehow all on me.
All the petty scenes, and all the pretty things,
Say whatever you want
Cause I can laugh it off."

I didn't get into Jimmy Eat World until about 1 year ago. Then I realized that they are totally awesome. I'm a huge fan of Bleed American, but I haven't really listened to their other albums. Still, any time I have one of their songs off of one of the other albums pop up on a playlist, I really enjoy it. Today it was Let It Happen, and it seemed to really fit in with what I wanted to write about today. You can talk a lot about what you want to do with yourself -- but until you do something about it, its just talk. And it really does rest solely on you. No one else can do it for you. So you have to ignore the haters, laugh it off when the criticize you, and go for it. Right on.

Another New Beginning

Life is often times relentless. We do our best to set goals and work to attain those goals; but perhaps more often, we just do our best to survive. Surviving life can sometimes get in the way of enjoying life -- but perhaps enjoying life is more important anyway.

I've been writing this blog for a couple of months now. My first post suggested that this would be a blog dedicated to fitness, particularly used to chronicle my own fitness endeavors, while sprinkling in little tidbits of information that I pick up in the realm of fitness, and my thoughts on those matters. But alas. Aside from often times being seemingly unfocused and all over the place, it seems that I have managed to morph the blog into a combination of total personal "fitness," including fitness of the body, mind, and perhaps even spirit. And to be perfectly honest, I really enjoy writing my thoughts on each of those areas. I have found that I am quite interested in life-improvement, and that one can improve one's life through many different avenues (which includes, but is not limited to, fitness). So instead of pretending that this is still solely a fitness blog with random "life-improvement" posts thrown in, I've decided to revamp.

With the help of my good friend Danny, I will soon be unleashing a new and improved layout for the blog. And with the fresh appearance (which I'm positive you all will find quite aesthetically pleasing), will come a fresh focus. I will still be writing primarily about fitness, and will still be chronicling my own fitness endeavors (let's face it, I'm shamelessly self-involved). But now there will be no secret. From this point forward, you all can expect to read entries dedicated to life/mind/spirit fitness as well.

But as my trusty friend Adam pointed out in his comment (seeing as how he is the only one to leave them), other topics in life can be relentless away from the realm of fitness--namely: sports, music and pop culture. So I will continue to throw in my "highlight" sections, where I can step into another realm and offer my opinions on those matters as well. I know you all care so much what I have to say about them, so why keep you guessing?

As I stood in the shower today (picture it), I was getting totally stoked on the new "focus" of the blog. With the new look and new focus, I think I can turn this thing into the "real deal." But I need your help to recruit followers! So if you know anyone that you think might enjoy reading what I have to say and prognosticate, hook them up with the link! It will only help you improve your life! (Ok, I'm just kidding about that, but do it anyway).

P.S. speaking of the link, be prepared for the new layout to bring a new link. Get mentally ready to change your bookmark...

Terrell Owens: Team Obliterator?

Sports World Highlight


He's A buffoon. He's shamelessly self involved. He has proven to be a cancer to three teams, and that he has an amazing ability to destroy relationships with and confidences of good quarterbacks. We're on team #4 now for good ole' T.O., and as Buffalo Bills camp opens today, all eyes will be on him. The question is, what T.O. will the eyes take in: Team Obliterator, or Turning Overanewleaf? My guess is the latter.

T.O.'s new reality show premiered this past Monday night, but I didn't catch it since it came on at 10 o'clock, which is my bed time. I did, however, watch the show the next day online at vH1.com . I'm the biggest T.O. hater out there, but I won't lie and say the guy isn't at the very least entertaining to watch (especially when he becomes malignant). So I had to give the show a view. As I sat through the first 5 minutes, it became clear what the show was intended to be: a T.O. pitty party. "Woe is me! The Cowboys cut me! I'm going to sit in my multimillion dollar condo in Miami and cry all day in my hip little hoodie with my bodyguard and wait for the arrival of my publicists! Feel sorry for me, America. It's really not my fault this time, I swear! I never do anything wrong..." Excuse me while I empty the contents of my stomach. Fortunately, the rest of the show revealed Owens to be the egotistical, immature 34 year old child that he really is: focusing on no one but himself and gearing everything he does towards instant self-gratification. There's the T.O. we all know and hate!

Still, I see the show as a springboard to his first (only?) year in Buffalo. T.O. knows that his career is on the rocks. He's lucky that Buffalo gave him a chance, but obviously not much of a trial period since his contract is up after this year. Obviously, this means that T.O. better be on his best behavior. And really, T.O.'s first years with teams have historically gone quite smoothly. It hasn't been until the team's performance has gone south that Team Obliterator has come out and spread his poisions through out the locker room.

But this isn't Philly. Or Dallas. This is Buffalo. And this isn't Donovan McNabb or Tony Romo. It's Trent Edwards. So the question now is: what happens if things don't immediately go North for the Bills and T.O.? Is he capable of keeping his mouth shut? His career as an actor may really be tested this time when he is forced to feign support for "his quarterback" Edwards if Edwards is not getting him the ball and they are losing games. But it's what he will have to do if he wants to play in the NFL much longer.

So what do I think will happen? I believe he will keep his mouth shut, no matter the circumstances. I think he knows that this is not the same situation as him going to Philly or Dallas, and that he can't be terribly picky about it in his current situation. Beggars can't be choosers. I also think that this year, the Bills might make that jump to be contenders for a playoff spot. Note I said might. T.O. is not the same player that he once was, but one cannot argue that he is by any means bad. He will bring a spark to Buffalo-- it will just be a matter of is it the spark from a stick of dynamite?

I am drowning in dry land...

I will no longer keep this within me. I will not tell a lie. I have been struggling over the past few days. I've hit points like this before, especially during summer training. I feel fatigued, sore, and overall tired. Its generally a combination of the added volume catching up with me and the heat and humidity grinding on me day after day. Which is why I am opting to spend a couple of days a week on the ole' treadmill. The good thing is that this feeling really started hitting me in mid-June last summer, when I was only running 40-45 miles a week. Since the start of June this summer, I have averaged 62 mpw, not even including this week which will be 70. So i guess I have to see that as a plus.

That ab workout I wrote about the other day: holy smokes. I don't think I've ever experienced more muscle soreness from an ab workout. This is day 3 post-workout and I am still feeling it. I am seriously going to have to grow a pair to bring myself to do that one again. But obviously, it works, so I should definitely do it again (and so should you!).

So in my chronically fatigued/sore condition, I have been counting the days until my race. As of Monday, I will be 16 weeks out. That is merely 4 weeks from my designated 12-week training cycle, so it's getting close. Once I hit that 12 week mark, I can put the blinders on, put the nose to the grindstone, and get it done. I want nothing more than for that 12 weeks to be over! It is going to be very hard, due to the combination of school, Redskins, and running. Lots of studying, lots of traveling home for games, and lots of squeezing long runs in around that. But anyone can do anything for 12 weeks, and so can I. Just gotta put the blinders on and do it.

Song Highlight
Keeping Pace With Planes - Conditions
This song has been one of my "perseverance" songs since Spring 2008, when I was training for Boston (or not really training, but attempting to rehab my knee so that I could "train"). Many of the song's lyrics evoke feelings of letting nothing hold you down, even though you are struggling. Perhaps my favorite being:

"The whole entire world is not enough to make my body still. And no matter of miles can make a mockery of iron will."

You can't let anything slow you down. No matter what adversary you are facing, you have to have the will to keep going. If you can teach yourself to have this "iron will," you will be that much more successful with any endeavor you choose to take on.

Soldier on, friends.

A Midsummer Night's Dream

I step out of my apartment and the heat smacks me in the face. It's 90 degrees and humid as a steam room in hell. As I walk down the stairs to where I start my run, I am not looking forward to the next hour and a half.

The gun goes off and I start my watch. The air is brisk, characteristic of a mid-November morning, and so different from exactly one year ago when the race started at close to 70 degrees and high humidity. This feels more like it.

I come through the first mile in 6:54, careful not to get caught up with the dreamers looking for their first sub-3:00, just like me, but with no realistic chance of making that coveted notch in their belts. I'm running my own race this morning.

At the 4-mile mark, I am comfortably on pace: First half in 1:30, 6:52 pace. Go out conservative and let it rip in the second half if I'm feeling alright. This is all so familiar now. I hit the seventh mile in a 6:40, but I know that's okay because that one's a downhill mile. And here is the "party zone." My parents are usually here, but I didn't make them come this time. I know they're hoping for the best, though. The crowed gets the adrenaline pumping just the same.

13.1 miles in and I'm on pace and feeling completely relaxed. Hold off for a about 5 more miles, then its time to have some fun. When I get to 18 miles, I will know it's in the bag. I will know that I am about to get re-acquainted with all those dreamers that I let go at the start of the race. Only now, they will be running backwards--if they are even still running.

20 miles. 10k to go and I'm rolling. I'm in the neighborhoods now and the streets are lined with the residents of Richmond suburbia, sipping on Mimosas and offering us beer. I pass on the beer this year because I'm running too fast. I passed on the beer last year because I was running 10 minute miles and stopping sporadically to calm yet another muscle spasm. I didn't deserve their beer. This year, I'll get one at the end and actually deserve it.

With less than a mile to go, I turn onto Cary street. This is where I live. This has been my city for the past 5 months, and it has been my city this morning. As I cruise down the hill past the cheering crowed, I know that this is what I've worked for for the past 5 months. I cross the line and stop my watch in 2:53:37. My first sub-3:00. I did it.

And then I wake up and I am on Cary street-- only I am about 10 blocks past the finish line, 5 blocks away from home. The heat smacks me in the face. It is 90 degrees and still humid as hell. As I reach 26th street, I stop my watch in 1:36:12. 12+ miles later, and I'm just wishing it was race day...

What is my body worth?

Whew. So I just got done with my lift session for today. I kept my run on the treadmill to try to give my legs a little bit of a break from the mileage over the last couple of days. After my run, I realized that I was starving so I postponed my lift until after I'd eaten some lunch to get my energy level back up. And now I'm done.

I started today's workout with a core workout that my roommate read about on Shawne Merriman's twitter. The workout comes out to be 5 total exercises: crunches, sit-ups, "V-ups," bicycles, and leg raises. Each exercise is done for 3 sets, 25 reps, in a cycle. You rest for 30 seconds between each exercise. So. I started my workout with that workout. Holy crap. It kicked my ass. "V-ups" are a very tough exercise regardless, especially if you don't ever do them (which I don't). By my second and third set of "V-ups," my form was just disgusting. I'm sure that it would be deemed a failure if seen by any expert on "V-up" technique. Just the same, it was wicked hard. 30 seconds rest felt like 3. Hip flexors (or as we deduced, rectus femoris muscles) screamed in pain. Abs joined in on the screaming making it one loud wail. By the end I must have looked like a little child trying to crank out the last set of leg raises. It was pretty much pathetic. But I finished. I think I may pay for it in the morning.

After I finished the ab workout, I still had the rest of my normal lift routine to go through, including pull-ups, push-ups, biceps, and shoulders. But let me tell you--I was doggin it. I was so tired from my run and ab work, I felt like a little wimp! But I got it done. And now I'm exhausted. I have decided to move my scheduled 12 mile run from early tomorrow morning until tomorrow evening, since I don't have class in the AM. I need the rest.

Which brings me to the next part of my post -- which actually has nothing to do with anything above really. But it does address some suggestions that I have recevied in response to my "Suggestion Box" post.

First off, I had planned on this post being a "My Top 10 Foods for a Healthy Diet" post -- but after I got done with that ab workout, I just had to blog about it. DUH! So expect that post in the near future.

Secondly, I've decided to start incorporating a "Song Highlight" section into some of my posts. I like to listen to music when I run on the treadmill (which since I've moved to Richmond is at least once, sometimes twice a week), and I always listen to music when I lift. Lately, with my recently aquired Ipod, I have been using the "Genius" feature which creates a playlist based on a song selected by the listener. Although I generally don't like pre-made playlists, using Genius is an easy way for me to make a quick playlist with fresh, up-beat songs, so I am not listening to the same "workout mix" everytime I run/lift. So I use it. The "song highlight" section will just be me commenting on a particular song that I found got me jacked up on that particular day. So here is the first 2 song highlights:

Song Highlight
It's Far Better To Learn - Saosin
This song is one of my favorite pump-up songs. I have two favorite parts of the song, the first being the chorus. The chorus asks the question, "What is my body worth?" (sound familiar?) To me, that is what drives my running and fitness endeavors. I want to find out what my body is capable of. I love seeing the physiological changes my body goes through over the course of a training cycle or any extended period of lifting/working out. To hear the question sung in an up-beat, guitar and percussion driven rock song just gets the adrenaline pumping. My second favorite part of the song comes in the bridge when Cove sings "I believe in nothing. I believe in nothing at all." Lately, I've found that when I hear that part of the song during the course of my workout, I respond by saying "I believe in myself." Sounds kind of corny, but you may have heard of mantras that you repeat to yourself when performing a difficult task (like running a marathon), in an effort to stay focused and motivated. During that song, that is my mantra.

Till I Colapse - Eminem
This is an Eminem hit that I never really appreciated until fairly recently when (surprise suprise) it came on one of my Genius playlists. The most motivating part of the song comes in the beginning:

"'Cause sometimes you feel tired,
feel weak, and when you feel weak, you feel like you wanna just give up.
But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength
and just pull that shit out of you and get that motivation to not give up
and not be a quitter, no matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse."

Combined with the marching cadence of soldiers going to battle, you can see how the song could get a guy jacked up.

And that concludes today's post. Comments would be appreciated :)